Messages from Nepal

12 Days in the Dark

In Nepal it is customary to invite family, friends, neighbours and work colleagues to important events. Recently we were invited to a Newari celebration, were the twelve year old daughter of a work colleague had finished the 12 days of the barah ceremony, which in effect is her second marriage. As with most of these occasions there is a religious element and then a big feast. We headed off to the Bal Kumari temple.

This Newari custom is the second marriage for the young girl. The first, which occurs when the child is about 2 years old, involves being dressed up and traditional rites and rituals being performed to marry her to the Bael fruit (an actual fruit). The Bael fruit is one of the manifestations of Shiva, so the girl is symbolically married to this Hindu deity. The belief is that since men can be unfaithful, the girl’s first marriage should be one in which unfaithfulness cannot occur. (No Bael fruit is going to run off with someone else!)

During the second marriage, the young girl is kept in a darkened room for 12 days. This is an improvement as in the past it would have been a cave near the family home. The girl must not see any males, must eat specially prepared food (generally food without salt) and complete a series of rituals. On the final day she is brought out of the darkened room and then worships Ganesh and the sun god. She is now considered a women and not as a child.

When we arrived family members and friends were congratulating and presenting gifts to her. The whole evening was then concluded with a feast.

These customs may seem peculiar to us but by marrying a little girl to a bael fruit and then to the sun god, Newari traditions ensure that even in the unfortunate death of the girl’s husband in later life, because of her prior marriages, the girl will not be deemed a widow.  This is a title to be avoided as marriage gives women great prestige, whereas widows have no property rights and no right to remain in their mother -in-law’s home any longer.  There is also an element of blame upon the widow, who is judged not to have prayed hard enough for her husband’s long life and is in some way to blame for his early demise.  Widows (not widowers) are looked upon with great disdain and intolerance in Nepali society. These traditions may therefore have been designed by the Newars to save their little girls from scornful treatment by the community. From what we have heard, most Newari girls do not complain about these marriage ceremonies, even today!

Toys R Us

There is no “Toys R Us” in Kathmandu, or any other similar store. There are a growing number of department stores which do have a small range of board games, badminton rackets,  scooters, “Barbies” and remote control vehicles.  All of these things are well out of the price range for the majority of Nepalis. So what do kids here do on a Saturday afternoon?

As we previously mentioned, kite building is popular in October, when there is enough wind to fly them.  At this time they also build huge “pings” out of bamboo, but again these only stay up for a few months before they are taken down.  Perhaps they just wear out!

Taking a walk around the streets in Kathmandu on a Saturday, the outside basketball and badminton courts are full of older kids enjoying some friendly competition.   The concrete table tennis tables, which are found in random places around the area, are always full.  In front of the zoo, the large football pitch regularly hosts a serious match of the “beautiful game”.  Both teams have their coloured bibs on and there is a healthy number of absorbed spectators.

These boys had their own version of marbles – trying to roll the marbles into the hole. Younger kids also love to skip here and this term Erin goes to a skipping club after school.

The little child below was having lots of fun running up and down pulling the plastic bottle on a string behind her. Sometimes the simplist toys are the best – it reminds me of the ball of string I got for Christmas when I was little. I had hours of fun!

Our kids spend Saturday’s in a variety of ways.   They love playing on the street outside, giving lifts on their bikes.  They play badminton and football in the yard and bounce a bit on the trampoline that we brought with us when we came.  There is occasionally a birthday party to go to, which is always a highlight in the social calendar.  The outside swimming pools are shut for the winter and so we are looking forward to them opening again in April.   There is no BB, GB or anything similar.  We have brought lots of lego with us and enjoy watching DVDs on our computer. There aren’t many parks or open spaces, so we find ourselves at the zoo a lot.  At least we are getting good use out of our annual passes. They even have a mini roller coaster train ride!

Jobs you mightn’t apply for!

Life here has begun to be lived out in the routine and mundane – which is a healthy sign that we are all feeling very settled in this diverse and dynamic place.  Everything that first caught our eye (and became the subject of a blog) has largely become unremarkable, except for the odd thing that still raises an eyebrow!

Life and work in Nepal is still largely manual in nature. This week we have a few photographs of jobs you might not want to apply for!

Having done a fair share of painting in my life, these young ladies painting the outside of their village house grabbed my attention.  It is interesting that in Nepali, this painting process is described as, “ghar chyapnu” which when translated accurately sums up what is going on – to splash the house!

When it comes to the time to paint our own house, Valerie and I were discussing which one of us would get the job of splasher and who would be the pot holder. No prizes for guessing who will end up with the pot – I’d better get practicing!

Every day I join the frantic throng of vehicles making their way across the Bagmatic bridge, as I cycle on my mountain bike to UMN.  I find myself competing for space with Maruti cars, Tata trucks, myriads of motorcycles and chauffeur driven 4X4s.  I am keenly aware of my own vulnerability, but I certainly raise an eyebrow at the two ladies who daily have the job of cleaning the road, by hand, during peak rush hour.  They are faithfully there every morning, bent over and focused, earning a little money to feed the hungry mouths at home.  With basic labour laws, no minimum wage or health and safety, would you fancy applying for this job?

So much of the work here is manual labour.  There are an endless list of jobs that involve hard, physical labour. Our western culture has moved so far away from these days that the thought of taking them on would not appeal.  Every day we pass the ladies and men carrying huge amounts of cement and sand to the building sites. The road widening scheme continues as men dig up the road using pick axes.  Huge weights are carried in dokhos up and down the hills. Farming is another area of back breaking, labour intensive work.

So as Monday morning blues approach, hopefully this will make us all appreciate the good aspects of the work we go to.